Greetings, human angler.
It is I the Loch Ordie Sedgehog your faithful, fluffy, slightly feral fishing companion.
You may know me as “that scruffy thing on the point,” or “the reason the leader is always tangled,” or perhaps “the fly that looks like it fell out of a barber’s bin.”
All correct.
All fair.
But let me tell you my side of the story.
My Purpose: To Cause Mayhem and Catch Trout I am not a sleek fly I am not tidy. I am, in fact, a glorious mess of hair, attitude, and hope.
You fish me from early May to the end of the season, because deep down you know chaos works.
And when you drag me through the waves, I come alive. I skitter, I wobble, I impersonate sedges who’ve had far too much to drink. Trout adore this. They look up and think:“Whatever that thing is… I must bite it immediately. You’re welcome.
The Incident (Yes, I Remember Everything)
Ah yes, that evening.
The breeze was soft.
The loch was calm.
You were drifting silently, pretending to be at peace but actually wondering whether you should have brought more snacks.
Then the sedges started coming off and you panicked. “Flies! I need flies!” you muttered, as though you hadn’t spent half the winter tying flies instead of doing useful things like housework.
So you tied on two Green Peters fine, sensible fellows.
And then you tied me on the point.
That’s when business picked up.
For three straight hours, trout were throwing themselves at us like we owed them money. And every now and then, in a glorious display of nature’s slapstick comedy, three of them would grab the cast at once.
Your face during those moments?
Priceless.
Like a person trying to remember whether they left the oven on and juggling fish at the same time.
Somehow, you even landed two of them on a couple of those attempts. Not bad for someone who occasionally forgets which pocket the nippers are in.
Why You Will Never Escape Me
I’m not just a fly.
I’m a lifestyle choice.
When you tie me on, you’re announcing to the universe “I want fish, I want excitement, and I’m willing to look slightly ridiculous to get both.”
And that, my friend, is the correct attitude.
Closing Thoughts from Your Scruffy Narrator
And now, if you’ll excuse me, someone needs to tie me on before I start shedding hair out of boredom.